Average Day from 3-Ply by Wipin' Butt$

Shark Attack:

Dear diary, today I woke up on time
Hopped in the shower to wash off the grime
Then I walked downstairs and what do I see
A freakin' loaf of bread just starin' at me

So I grab a slice and then I put it in the toaster
Pour a cup of coffee and I put it on a coaster
Flip on the tele, NBC morning show
Is it gonna rain, well let's ask Al Ro-
ker, no sir, partly sunny

I'm out the door, I'm gonna make some money
Gonna make the paper, make a lot of paper
Harvest some trees and literally make paper
My job involves the manufacturing of paper
My salary is average but I still make paper

Day is over, yeah you know what I'm doin'
Go home and play some Roller Coaster Tycoon
Got a little chamomile tea that I'm brewin'
Cause it's 9 pm and I'ma go to bed soon

Puttin' on my PJs sippin on some tea
then I write about today in my diary
I don't know what to write cause of how average my day was
I stare into space for like a half hour cause
my mind is blank, if my life were a show
it'd be canceled after the first episode


I didn't find a girlfriend, I didn't find a wife
today was just another average day in my life
I woke up, et cetera, then went back to bed
I wrote in my diary and this is what it said

Danno Fo Sho:

Dear diary I woke up with diarrhea
then I want back to bed at 3 uh
clock in the morning it was really borin
so I went back to bed you know I was snorin

Then I got up to my alarm
It was time to take a bath and shave my arms
I brushed my teeth with some colgate total
walked out my room and out of the hotel

Stopped at starbucks for some coffee
Then I changed my mind and got a chai lattee
I used my own mug so the guy refilled it
on my way to work I didn't spill it

I pulled up to work and walked through the door
I picked up some papers that I dropped on the floor
My quarterly repots got a little dirty
I said, "siri, remind to print new ones at two thirty"

Work wasn't boring and it wasn't exciting
I sat all day and did some apathetic writing
all about the rising cost of chalk
until I left for home at 5 o clock

I parked my car in the usual spot
I stepped out of my car and walked through the lot
I didn't get mugged and I got home safely
I ate my tv dinner it was not exactly tasty

watched magnum PI and Hawaii 5-0
And then I watched another cop show
The tv played until I fell asleep
Then I woke back up to write in my diary

• Hip-Hop/Rap
• joke rap
• Winona