Deathbed from α β, Aim In θ by This City Called Earth

Cuba died from an overdose in his bed. I was the last one to speak to him. He didn't speak much english. He didn't respond. It was 2am, I thought - maybe he just don't want to talk. Something didn't sound right, but a lot of people are weird in a giant tent in a lot. I went to sleep, only 3 beds away. I woke up in the morning. He didn't. I've been the last person the deceased see or experience many times now, even then. For a while it was kind of running thing in my mind, that I wore the essence of departed souls like a well fitted shirt, or maybe a hoodie. I don't know. It was his choice, but in the land of the living you eventually will learn that you must be cleansed of these souls that always leave a subtle residue and it is there, wheter you choose to see it, feel it, hear it. I've crossed over myself, a few times, once fully - you never unfeel it after enough times of others or you're own crossing over. There is a veil, it's like a phase space that exists between, or outside of space, and time. The veil is a kind of membrane, it can stretch and become thin, impressionable even, or dense and impermeable. You can learn to harness it even, but it's best not to. God will show you, there are creatures so incomprehenable to the living experience, they are not even to be named, and others who names are simply unpronounable, even if their prescence can be felt. If you're ..lucky, He might even work through you to connect with the veil as Angels traverse such dimensionalities, but even for them it is still dangerous as can be. Even immortals fear things worse than death and they are there. A glowing white hand with no body in sight pushed me out of that dark, I was not allowed any further for it simply wasn't my time, but that's the real nature and danger of free will. When you die, and I mean *really* die, there is no bright white light, your memories fade, and your breath gets quieter and quieter quieter and slower and slower and slower, and you know - but what the living doesn't know - is that - your last thought before you pass, is how comfortable, how peaceful it all feels. For some, its the first and only time theyve ever been allowed to slow down, truly slow down and it feels so. good. It's a quiet thing, it's the opposite of the Sun. Its cold and there's nothing. Nothing at all. And within that silence, the peace, stillness, you don't feel or hear your heartbeat anymore, and then you realize, I'm having the last thought i'll ever have. You say it again - This is the last thought, I'll ever have. And it gets more quiet, and then at that exact moment, that is when your fear kicks in. And it's at that exact moment, it's too late.


Loving someone, holding their hand, quietly, without speaking, without showing grief is the greatest gift you could *ever* give another creature on this Earth. It is more meaningful than the entire rest of the life someone has lived. Better to die a violent, quick death than to die alone in grief or sadness, or worse, unloved and uncared for, cast aside at all. We tell ourselves affirmations of reincarnation, but there is no reincarnation. And that means we are responsible for enjoying the little time we get to be here, or exist, or feel, hear, smell, think, metacognate, hate, love. You don't get that time back. You might come back at another time, another place, but you're ego is different, you're someone else then, not you, and you forget because birth is incomprehensibly traumatic. Even that is miracle we take for granted.

Death humbles us, but even Death serves God and His will. We know nothing. And yet, it is through God we are allowed to be resonant enough to have a lattice of form, to be humbled at how we're really here at all and how we could be loved so strongly before we even existed, and that's why we're here. To be given an opportunity at an impossibility made possible. Hm.

To feel less than nothing at all, but to be loved more than everything that has ever existed. Praise God and Amen.

I explore the intersections of quantum mechanics, time dilation, 3D printing, and music, seeking new ways to connect and understand our world. I’ve worked on temporal mechanics, tonal harmony, FFT interference patterns, and acoustic pressure dynamics, uncovering innovative harmonic structures and rhythms that bridge science and creativity.