splat by sonja berlin-jones
Here's Sonja - yes I am back - I can't tell you just how many messages I've received over the past nine months asking me where I've been - but now I can reveal that I've been at the Royal College Of Music. Because of my vast previous experience in the music world I was able to do the five-year-course in only nine months - but they still charged me the full rate. So I've got a lot of money to recoup - about Β£90,000 in fact - so I'm hoping that my adoring fans will be very generous when downloading my music.
I've been startled to discover that in my absence the number of followers I have here at Bandcampland is down to 4. Other musicians would be overwhelmed by the challenge ahead. But I have been through worse. You will probably remember when Foojitsusha invited me on a world tour a few years ago and at Rome airport I got on the wrong tour bus because, as you might have noticed, I can't remember how to spell their name, and I ended up on tour with the Foo Fighters instead. The Foo Fighters' career never really recovered from that, and they took me to court for (in their opinion) undermining their earning potential.
They won the case. So that's another quarter of a million I have to pay back. As you can understand - I have a mountain to climb, and I thought I'd take the first step by making this delightful and very accessible piece of lounge music. Don't be embarrassed to pay a huge amount of money for it. And please don't be embarrassed to play it to your guests at dinner parties - any sounds that almost made Dennis Grohl (or whatever he was called) choke to death on his cheroot must have something wonderful about them.
Yes I did the cover painting too.
nothing is distorted, nothing is wrong