In the words of that irritating radio advert You might want to step away from the whatever, because I'm a bit smelly - it's not entirely my fault, except that I'm not having baths every ten minutes so perhaps it is. Last week one of the charity shops down Portswood was having a closing-down sale and everything was a quid and I got a pair of terrible rough ugly loud teenagery trainers that I would never normally buy - but I thought that at a quid they'd do as something I could wear to destruction in obscure places.
Alas they've turned out to be so comfy and so easy to walk in forever that I am wearing them every day and going on long walks every day - the countryside is currently so dry and firm that you could walk everywhere in slippers if you wanted. But = these trainers have made my feet smelly. I probably have some infection. That'll teach me. This is all appropriate because lately when I come back from these long walks I go straight over to the General and visit a friend who is diabetic and has just had her right leg removed below the knee.
Her attitude to life moves me to tears every time. My own attitude in her shoes (shoe) would be of abject despair, my life would feel over if I lost a foot, if I could no longer go on my walks there would be nothing left for me but to make lots more music, ten albums per day - can you imagine ? Fortunately for everyone, I am not diabetic. But I know that I am only one prang away from something awful happening and it all coming crashing down - I never take my relatively good health for granted and that is why I try to do as much of the active stuff now, and try to save all the staring-at-the-screen stuff for when I am housebound.
What I notice when I visit my friend is that she is not the only oddly cheerful person in the ward - yes it is a fairly large-ish ward. All those who are conscious are always so chatty and cheerful and they are all now friends and will stay in touch and I know my friend will magically stay happy even as she hops about for the rest of my life - and if you are offended on her behalf at my casual language about her affliction then don't be, it is her genuine feeling, and you will have to look somewhere else if you want to tick another box in your nonPC Bingo Card.
She has always been like this - insanely upbeat - and this is why I love her and will always visit her and be her friend - one of the many friends she has. I am always sad when I step out of the ward, out of the hospital, out into the world of the healthy and apparently able-bodied and am again reminded just how miserable we have allowed ourselves to become, but it is the choice we have made.