onanistickitofisticocoda by sonja berlin-jones

I'm afraid it's a lurch back again to the bad old days of about a week ago with lots of that wahwahing and phasering and echo which people are nervous of admitting they like. It is fascinating digging deep down into my stats - during the day I get about one or none or two visits and then overnight I get about a hundred and I can only conclude that all my fans are in America and Asia and Australia and all those places over in that direction.

I always think of myself as being British even though I was born in America and get on better with Americans than with Brits - by bloodline I am mainly German but I don't feel German at all, whatever that feels like. When I was young and my musical taste was still very naive I noticed that the British bands that I really loved were never very popular in Britain but were always more popular on the Continent - think very early Ultravox! or Simple Minds or VDGG or BeBopDeluxe or whatever they were called, and so on and so on, and then there were the German groups who only became popular in the UK about a century after they'd fizzled out and died.

And this morning while lying on the sofa trying to sleep after breakfast I was listening to the Sundays and I remembered that they surely are one of the three most perfect groups who've ever existed and yet I've never met anyone who likes them. That's the thing about Britain - no one likes anything that's any bloody good.

Which is all leading up to my big announcement. I am taking steps to emigrate to Zimbabwe. More details to follow, but I will just say that I have "met" someone online and we've clicked .... a fan .... money .... lots of land .... sunshine ... a life without the grey dusty filth-collecting crap that everyone in the UK thinks they need to be happy - I'm having none of it.

photo near Fordingbridge a couple of weeks ago

nothing is distorted, nothing is wrong