wingseeded scatter by Simon Aulman
If I keep on hanging around waiting for inspiration then that is pretty much the end of my wonderful musical career - over before it's even started. So of course the thing to do is fill up the blank sheet in front of me even if it is all gibberish, which this might be. No. It is. It's just that I don't mind it too much.
......................
Yesmam I've been quite busy in a recreational way and done much walking, mainly around London and I now know every square inch between about Richmond and East Ham and I've read lots and painted lots and discovered that I prefer painting to making music and I've been to lots of gigs and it's really the gigs I want to talk about - gig-going is just about the main time when I go out and do something which I know will be total crap - a completely miserable boring experience. The most glaring recent example was Me Lost Me at The Railway in Winchester.
I won't go into details. You know what boring talentless lazy gigs are like - you've been to a million yourself - you mainly go just to say you've been - I mainly go just to say that I wish I'd never gone - I probably have a better time of it than you do.
Me Lost Me was a woman and a keyboard, she spoke like she was reading out random snippets from her PhD, her music was like if I tried to be a tired Bjork - which is actually something that I do try every time I make an album. Obviously I am jealous that she is famous and I am not. Though even her fame meant there were about 10 people in the audience, so I don't feel so bitter that I'm only ten fans behind her.
When Hitler or Stalin or Mao or even Sunak march into the hall and the crowd rise up and cheer I know that even I, with my weak passive liking-to-be-liked personality will rise up and cheer along as well, then I am in no position to claim that I can think for myself and not be swayed by the mob. Why was I born at a time when the mob is on the wrong side ? I want to be the one on stage with 9 adoring fans clapping and cheering as I drone out my lazy drearings and read out random snippets from obscure music blogs and talk about my musical friends and how good it is to fit into this society, how unfair it is that the ones who want to fit in are always outside, and the ones who are pretending to protest are the ones who benefit most from the phoneyness.
..............
recorded this morning, cover painting/distortion by me
