wahwahblahblahdisahstahah by Simon Aulman

No I don't know how it's all turning out like this - my best guess is that a while back I made the mistake of wandering beyond my comfortable non-erogenous zones - repeat, change speed, change tempo, repeat, echo, repeat, echo-o-o-o-o, god more repeat - I always thought that things like Phaser and Wahwah were just gimmicky shite that had no use - then a while back I used the phaser and it was ridiculous, and later I pressed Wahwah and if you hide it under enough reverb and echo it just makes the same nonsense that I was making already. Harmless really.

Even if I live to a billion I will wake up amazed that I no longer have to add crappy muffled cassetted shite to other muffled cassetted shite and create stuff that no one can hear in any of the ways possible. Basically I am a bloke who works on his knees with charity shop stuff that gets pressed/blown/strummed at random near a mic and then in my efforts to use free moronically-simple software to turn the line on the screen into A Day In The Life I sometimes get lucky - ie do something sooo stupid that it actually/accidentally almost sounds quite good - pounce on that tiny moment and repeat it forever, and I end up with droning moist nervous blushing little albums of near-nothingness oh they wouldn't dream of interrupting you with your ambitions for real proper grown-up music made by people who network and have learnt stuff oh no no no.

But it all went different (not necessarily wrong) when I fell in infatuation with Lady Wahwah and everything suddenly sounded almost like proper music. This really is not my area of expertise and it's as ludicrous as an illiterate gatecrashing Salman Rushdie's literary salon and talking expansively about Recherche Du Temps Forgotten The Rest Whatever for ten hours. The population of the planet is about 9 billion or something. And about 8,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 of them are musicians, proper ones, the ones who know how to use wahwah and other even more exotic thingies.

Me - here - this is so embarrassing - I shouldn't care, but it seems that I do. I'm having a doing-nothing day - ie I might make some more music - and the next thing that will involve will be a neurotic lowly-strung inconsolable knotted-nylon-string guitar and turning everything up to a million and no matter how awful it is, well, it'll be the sound of a sullen lazy stupid heart-over-head idiot who ah bugger it I'm as out-of-ideas writing this stuff as I was of making that stuff - just a word about the volume, it's all over the place, it's just the accidental way it's turned out which is finefine yno like you or I have actually got time to hear any of this stuff.

And having said all that stuff, I look forward to using wahwah again, many years ahead, but for now I need to make another 900 or 1000 albums of old-school arthritic droning to get my musical career back on track.