planed by Simon Aulman

noisy and distorted - somewhere in there it's quite danceable

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This morning, on three distinct occasions while walking round town, pleasant-looking middle-aged women who are complete strangers said hello to me as we passed. And I'm sure this isn't just my imagination - but three other women, in their 20s or 30s, very definitely smiled at me in the nicest possible way as we passed. What is going on ? Is this a "pandemic thing" ? I don't think so. I actually think it's a beard thing. I've never really had a beard before - this thing that lazily just happened on my chin during the first lockdown cos I hate shaving - shaving and filling the car with petrol are the two chores I hate most. And none of my friends like my beard. They say it does me no favours. I'm past caring. But though my friends dislike it, it seems that to strangers it makes me someone worth acknowledging, in a nice way. Finally. In England. In one of this country's least friendly cities - until you scratch the surface of people, when of course everyone everywhere is lovely.

Sadly I don't think this beard phenomenon is a good thing. I think the beard is a sign that I have passed from being a young man (dangerous, hormonal, unstable) to an old man (safe, steady, dull, and too old to be capable of sex). None of those last things are true of course. It's often puzzled me why/how stats and studies have shown that people tend to be at their happiest in their 60s or whenever - some age when you'd've thought that all pleasures were spent and beyond us. But no. The world relaxes and reveals itself to be a much nicer place. That is why. I am happy to report from the front-line of death that there is nothing worth worrying about.

Recorded just now, photo Southampton yesterday evening