mouth water by Simon Aulman
the last few outputs have made me come across as rude and angry and weird and experimental and difficult and like I'm trying to do something original and amazing and eternal like it's the first night of the Rite Of Spring every night here in my studio and no no no no oh no oh hark at me "my studio" which is just an IKEA rug with a laptop on it and a crappy but adored placky keyboard on it and god this """""musician""""" malarky plays havoc with my knees, no wonder all musicians are so boring and bad tempered, not that I would/could claim to be a musician of course - listen to me - no don't - no sense being different - so I thought I'd make a bid for the centre-ground again and hurrahhurrah hurrahrararawwahwahra I've returned to the recently-discovered wahawahbah button or whatever the word is to describe the bit on the screen that makes everything sound like the Clangers meets that elephanty one in Banana Splits.
Now if this album doesn't get me famous then I might as well give it all up and go off and retire and take up some useless stupid boring hobby like shit becoming a person on Bandcamp who churns out 600 albums per year, except this time I'll buy one of those huge old synthesiser things that takes up the whole upstairs and which they used to have a million monthly magazines about - like "Klaus Schulze shows us inside his new KJT-638xmk3" and I'll make lots of TanDreamy stuff but much better because TD were crap, apart from Rubycon and that nice bit in Phaedra.
Yes I admit it - using the wahwah feels to me like pressing the "Use A.I. To Generate A New Album Like Taylor Swift's Next One" button on the Audacity whatever whatever and watching the green line move left to right in five seconds and there you go - I'll just need to add the nice photo of an old couple in a yacht that I snapped at Keyhaven last week while everyone else was marvelling at the white tailed eagle. Now that Megan Markle's show isn't turning out to be too hot, maybe they could let me do one, though I've never made ice cubes, and this is the way my life has always been - I never got into Oxford cos I never knew the Latin and I never got a proper job because I've never worn a watch and I really really wanted to make a living keeping bees but when I had 50 hives I became allergic and when there was nothing left except either killing myself or having a bash at this music malarky I chose the latter and it's only this wahwah thingy that's keeping me keeping me and no no no I am not suicidal or any of that shit, truly, I am probably the least suicidal person in the UK right now - honest - though I know that's not saying much - I love my IKEA rug and Audacity and the nonsense that comes out and the fact that there is always the next thing the next thing
recorded this morning, photo Keyhaven last week
