DIS-ASSOCIATION by Renée Radix
cw: this album deals with themes such as CSA and suicide/suicidal ideation. most of the more obviously triggering content is in the album notes, especially for tracks 2, 3, 4 and 6, with some potentially triggering words in the audio of track #3 (i’ve been told they’re pretty hard to hear but i wanted to write this anyway). i speak candidly about my experiences not because i want to shock or upset, but because writing about this is the most personally fulfilling thing i have ever done with my music, and fuck the pressure for survivors to stay silent.
thank you to the community of friends, lovers, healthcare workers and acquaintances who helped me stare down the darkness that lives in my head. without you none of this would have been possible. additionally, thank you to everyone who loaned me the gear i used to make this album.
(by the way, i still intend for there to be a physical release somewhere down the line on cd-r, but i really need to not have a deadline on that for now.)
this is dedicated to all survivors of csa, especially those that are queer and/or transgender.
what happened to you was not ok, no matter how mild you think it was.
it was not your fault.
you are not broken.
you are not a worthy sacrifice.
this does not define you.
your story, survival and well-being all matter.
you can heal from this, and reclaim who you are.
you are not alone.
Tracklist
| 1. | OPENING | 7:14 |
| 2. | TRANNY_SUICIDE_MUSEUM | 7:32 |
| 3. | MISSING_PIECE | 3:33 |
| 4. | 7_STEPS_TO_PLEASING_YOUR_PREDATOR | 5:24 |
| 5. | UNTITLED_INTERLUDE | 6:08 |
| 6. | ...AND_FLOWERS_STILL_BLOOM_IN_APPALACHIA | 8:52 |
Credits
gear and samples used are listed on individual tracks. if you want to learn more about how i actually made all the tracks feel free to reach out, i'm a pretty open book about this stuff and love sharing, especially if you're trans/a queer woman.
all performances, mixing, producing and mastering by myself (renée radix), except a few samples which are noted in the track notes.
License
CC BY 3.0. See the Creative Commons website for details.
Renée (she/her) is an electroacoustic musician currently based in Portland, Oregon. Her solo music consists of densely layered woodwinds and electronics, engaging with themes such as living with trauma, dissociation and the impact of the world on the transfeminine body. She draws inspiration from stories of trans resistance, grief rituals, free jazz, the natural world, and industrial machinery.