Religious Family from The Dose by Preserve the Moose

I used to feel the devil watching me.
Played on my nerves, endangered my whole family.
I would speak in tongues and tics and things
and fear the hellfire that I'd bring
if I didn't do those things just right.

Then I might step on a crack
and might it break my mother's back?
Or bring me to the underworld below?
But if I tap the desk just so 10 times,
repeat a word till it sounds fine
we might escape that fate. We'll never know.

It's hard to make friends
when you're trying to save your soul.
I've been trying to do the right thing
since I was 5 years old.
At times I let that pressure get to me.
Thanks to my religious family.

I never gave myself a chance to be
the kind of kid that other kids would wanna see.
I would blink and moan to myself
while worrying about my mental health
Above all else, I couldn't say what was wrong with me.

The awkwardness was crippling
while other kids were snickering.
I couldn't stop myself from tic-ing on.
These things back then weren't diagnosed.
It seemed to be just self-imposed,
leaving me ignored by most everyone.

It's hard to make friends
when you're trying to save the world.
And it's hard not to stammer
when you meet a pretty girl.
I wish that wasn't how it had to be.
Blessed by my religious family.

They say the devil's in the details.
For protection you must pray.
Most kids fear being grounded.
I feared the ground giving way.
Giving way. Giving way

I feared the number 13
and the number of the beast
and equations that created those sums.
My ideas were so far gone
I feared people catching on
It took several years to stop sucking my thumb.

It's hard to make friends
when you're trying to save yourself.
And it's hard to overcome
certain states of mental health.
I know because it's what happened to me
with help from my religious family.

I know they meant no harm to me.
Loved by my religious family.

• Alternative
• bedroom
• indie folk
• indie rock
• obsessive compulsive disorder
• ocd
• singer-songwriter
• New Jersey