1104 from Death Doula by Noughtie Dee

same date in november every year

feel it end of october pain is near

when it happened fought the battle by myself

picked out his funeral home quiet as it’s kept

i kept busy

did this just to survive

i’ve had many

nights i heard momma cry

post on ig

so his friends see him alive

love the memories

so why do i want to



why my mind go that way

it’s not good and i know

gotta make peace with it

does that mean i’ve let it go?

everybody moving on

time 2x slower for me

said it’s been 5 years?

10 will i feel this weak



will i still weep like this

start to feel nobody give a fuck

if i never posted none

would you still reach out showing love

is this sympathy?

all i want is empathy right now

do you feel me

can you feel the weight of a loss

have you lost sibling

then lost aunt & grandmom

family is splitting

now it’s hard to go home



want to cry on the flight

when i touchdown can’t ignore the change

when i touchdown cant ignore the pain

no more fantasies to keep me sane

told myself you alive but just far away

told myself we ain’t speaking much but it’s okay

can’t deny the little lies when i’m at your grave

picked out the pictures yup designed his grave

big sis always making sure you straight



same date in november every year

feel it end of october pain is near

when it happened fought the battle by myself

picked out his funeral home quiet as it’s kept

i kept busy

did this just to survive

• Alternative
• alternative hip-hop
• female rap
• hiphop rap
• songwriter
• Atlanta