Saturate from Scambot 1 by Mike Keneally

IX.

“Why single out Americans?” creaks a voice from behind Scambot. It’s his best friend, Kootch, who works as a rodeo clown and has slipped quietly into the house through the window. He wears a T-shirt which reads “People around me have shovels?!,” and looks like a troll doll.

Scambot: Oh, c’mon. You know that the thickest, most reactionary people on these boards are the Amer –

Kootch: I RESENT! Look...(he opens a Francois Truffaut message board on
his iPhone)...See!! Croation idiocy, Canadian idiocy, Australian idiocy...no culture has a monopoly on morons, Scambot!

Scambot: OK. OK. Sorry Kootch. Let’s get out of here, yeah?

Kootch: You, and your reflexive, bleeding-heart...

Scambot: I SAID I WAS SORRY.

They hit the pavement. Ophunji spies on their walking conversation via a series of seagulls with tiny cameras and microphones strapped to their stomachs.

Scambot: I fall. Everyday, I fall. And I’m tall. Tall as a sprawled, mauled...

Kootch: Let all that poison leak out of you. It murders you on your feet. You don’t need darkness and doubt in you.

Ophunji absent-mindedly gropes for the Activism dial again and tweaks it.

Scambot: I have this thought, friend. I need a blunt pen...

Kootch hands Scambot a Space Pen. Scambot fishes a movie ticket stub (from when he saw TRON) out of his jacket pocket and makes a tiny list on the back of it.

1- Get more ambitious and less pretentious.
2- Stop doing crack.
3- Free your mind and breathe ten times.

Oh. Make your dreams manifest, oh. Oh. Oh.

Kootch is inspired by Scambot’s optimism and they sing in unison, unaware that they’re being subtly prompted by the camera-gulls to head towards the waterfront.

Let’s run to the water; I have a thought too!
Let’s go to the water; that’s where we’re brought to!
If that’s where we should go, well I’d go!
We don’t we just go! Oh!

We will saturate the world with with with with with with
We will saturate the world with with with with with with
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME

Ophunji twists the “SCAMBOT - Horrible doubt!” dial.

Scambot: Oh! I’m struck with horrible doubt!

Kootch: Whaddya know – I am too!

Scambot and Kootch: We know just what we should do! Let’s go into this bar!

They slouch into a seaside dive called McCackery’s. Drunks howl along with the jukebox. Scambot and Kootch order whiskeys and settle in for a long afternoon of sorrow-drowning.

Mike Keneally has been a lot of things in his 35 year career: stunt guitarist/keyboardist, singer/songwriter, orchestral composer, producer, music director, painter, and more. After getting his start in Frank Zappa’s legendary 1988 big band, Keneally released his first solo album hat. in 1992. Since then he has released dozens more and is working on a new double album.

Learn more at keneally.com