Breakdown from GLAM by meelie bones

[Amelia]
Hey Griz… you’re a bipolar bear!

[Griz]
...I’m a grizzly.

I had a dream I was driving
On a twisty mountain road
And I smashed through the guard rail
Off a cliff into the snow
And you were right there beside me
And I didn’t have control
But still you told me you loved me
One last time as the car rolled

When I woke up I was totally manic
And it was barely 5 AM
And you were sleeping so sweet and so softly
That I just couldn’t wake you yet
I dug around for my hair dye and 20
And I almost bleached my head
I don’t know what I was thinking
(I don’t know what I was thinking)

Can I not trust my brain, my thoughts, my emotions
Chemical balance, oil in the ocean
Trash in the river, sludge in the stream
And you try to help but you’re watching me scream

I break down in both directions
I’ve fucked up on many occasions
Am I right to think that I have
Nothing left for me to give to you?

I had a dream that I left you forever
Said I couldn't be your wife
I took a plane all the way out to Denver
And I started a new life
I ghosted all of my friends and my family
And they all thought that I had died
Because I knew that I couldn't protect you
From myself, so why try?

Can't trust my brain, my thoughts, my decisions
Turn up the dials from all my conditions
Dancing in public, crying in bed
I hope I remembered to take all my meds

I break down in both directions
I’ve fucked up on many occasions
Am I right to think that I have
Nothing left for me to give to you?

I break down in both directions
I’ve fucked up on many occasions
Am I right to think that I have
Nothing left for me to give to you?

Anticipate the patterns through
You'll see what's right in front of you
Your rollercoaster's slowing down
Your darkest thoughts are fading out

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• Portland