Empty Cup from Beyond Words by Laurie Frisbey

Corner table
By the window
Half a latte
Growing cold
While I obsessively
Scroll
Stirring foam
Like it's a clock hand
Buying time
I can't postpone
Doorbell chimes
You step in
Searching
Wave at me
With recognition
Walk toward me
Like an old friend
I kill the screen
Take the earbuds
From my ears
And put my phone Down

You pull a seat up
At my table
But I feel ten
Years away
You say you've changed
You're different now
I hear your voice
My shoulders brace
You promise you
Won't cut me down
Won't twist my words
Won't take up
Too much space
I'm learning how
To face you now

You talk about
Apologies
Counseling
Epiphanies
You say "I was cruel
I know I crushed you
I was young
And full of myself"
Every sentence
Like a replay
Of the times
You made me small
How you laughed
When I was honest
Pointed out
My every flaw

You pull a seat up
At my table
But I feel ten
Years away
You say
You've changed
You're different now
I hear your voice
My shoulders brace
You promise you
Won't cut me down
Won't twist my words
Won't take up
Too much space
I'm learning how
To face you now

Same lies I've fed
Myself for years
Play on a loop
In my head
You're too much
You're not enough
Same contempt
Dressed up as tough
You're so small
Why did you say that
Straighten up
You say "I swear
I've changed this time"
Same sarcasm
In the silence
Same practiced smile
The mask I wear
While you watch
Every move I make

I stare at the seat
Across my table
But I feel ten
Years away
You say you've changed
You're different now
I hear your voice
My shoulders brace
You promise you
Won't cut me down
Won't twist my words
Won't take up
Too much space
I'm learning how
To face you now

I hear your voice
My shoulders brace
I'm staring at
My own face
As the glass door
Catches my reflection
In the frame

There's an empty seat
At my table
Silent noise
Same quiet dread
I put my earbuds in
And listen to a song
I wrote instead
Your mouth is moving
But I'm choosing
Who speaks now

I touch the rim
Of my empty cup
And decide to fill it up
From here on out.

• Pop
• Bangor