bucker-upping by Kirsten Svuure

Ah, bit pf a chaotic mess - oh well, maybe it's a necessary disaster. Or not a disaster at all. My musical career has taken several recent knocks. The mix I made for that Brighton DJ seems to have disappeared into the great silence - and who can blame him. But I'm glad I did it, because it gave me quite a shock - in a good way. I needed to include some of my own music in it, and the truth is that I never listen back to my old stuff - even yesterday's album (if there was one) has already been forgotten. If you'd thrown a title at me I wouldn't even have recognised it as one of my albums, let alone what it sounded like.

So I quickly skimmed back over my previous albums and I must admit I was horrified at what I heard. I shall pass quickly on - but just say that there were only a very few which I liked. How did the others get there ? I knew that my musical career so far hadn't been going in the direction I wanted - but even so I really did think that I'd been putting up stuff that maybe even I might quite like. But no. Not often. I'd always wanted to be making gentle disciplined quiet pretty rhythmic music that could appeal to anyone who likes a tune and a rhythm or two.

But where was it ? - I couldn't find it. So it was good that I'd been brought up short like that. I learnt that I needed to buck up my ideas. I'm not sure that this album is an idea-bucker-upper, but at least it has a bit of oomph, and possibly even character - and one must always have character.

So anyway, I've been chastened by what's happened, and in future I will try to either make a bit of a mess, or something very disciplined. It's the middle- and muddle-ground where I don't want to be, and where I seem to have strayed so far in my musical career here in Bandcamp. I quite rightly have very few followers, and quite frankly if I wasn't me I wouldn't've been following me either.

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recorded today, photo looking across Southampton Water from Mayflower Park yesterday morning