Noise Repellant by kikiala

Unimportant update: I added a few other tracks I had been sitting on, as well as the audio from the crowsong from "kama kipisi kepeken" which was taken when I was in a dark place. Hundreds of crows had gathered there and I only recorded a short bit of it, but they rose and fall in their songs and I wondered for what did they gather that day. If you can ever reconstruct the location based on the sound, maybe you can find the source of the pain. To me it seemed a squabbling or a send-off, with them circling and landing continuously in their ebbing cacophony. Perhaps a great crow-related tragedy.

Irrelevant update: I added another vent song from today. After trying to re-join an internet community, I was accosted immediately by psychosis-inducing imagery and attacks from a dozen members who are also hurting. If you have injuries, sometimes the internet is not a safe place to be. I'm still learning this.

Many communities are infested with bad-faith actors primarily of destruction-seeking origins who want only to perpetuate the insanity and hate. Many communities devolve into a cesspool of abuse. Sometimes it's hard to recognize, but pain can become perpetuated in those spaces.

Leave the abuse behind. There is a way to be kind, even living a quieter life. I believe. I left, I'm not returning. The trust I had in strange little art communities is damaged. The hope I had for community is unfortunately diminishing.

There are entire groups of clustered small communities which are all strangled by psychosis and pain. That is perpetuated by the anger of the outside actors, which then echoes infinitely amidst the other users who go there seeking safety. If you feel as though you are being treated poorly in what feels like an abusive place, you can leave.

--- original release notes ---

DON'T HURT KIDS. Indict the men.
And build a better world. This was...
Not meant to be a song, but a journal,
and because I am who I am it is what it is.

recorded off the cuff on Nov 24, 2025 around 8pm.
thanks and blessings to all who believe in goodness.

fun poetry crap:

---

so much room to make decisions
look like u lucky number seven, kid
keep it up and you'll go far, that is
within the limits of unchanging
stripmall death and suffering
can you give us a reason to
believe in you as if we knew
you gave up on the good god, good
i pray him her they we you us me every
day survive the rain of sorrow and of fire
from money men they've gone deranged

---

the bonus track caveman was recorded when I was somehow blissfully happy for a while and then very, very unhappy near the beginning of November 2024

soften the harsh edges of your spirit. sate your desire for sound. become emptied of your sound. regain what may have never been lost. to fall silent and wish for this difference.

ko-fi.com