growing (demo) from amends by Jai Mohan

cotton candy sky waves the day goodbye to me
all the endless nights, they begin to recede
wonder if i'll cry coming out of the tunnel and into the light
and out of the rubble, and into my life

i burned myself a couple times
i did it on purpose
slashed my skin and counted cuts by five
until i didn't feel worthless

but it's all crystalline,
buried in duloxetine
i used to self-propel towards an early death
to still the marvelous machine,
to drift in gray without the green,
but i have never felt this brilliant of a red

i fall in love with friends
i fall in love with living
i wanna make amends
i find myself forgiving
the person that i was
i fall in love with hoping
i fall in love with love on purpose
i think that i am growing

i took too much a couple times
i did it on purpose
22 pills swallowed down with wine
until i didn't feel worthless

but it's all crystalline,
buried in duloxetine
i used to self-propel towards an early death
to still the marvelous machine,
to drift in gray without the green,
but i have never felt this brilliant of a red

i fall in love with friends
i fall in love with living
i wanna make amends
i find myself forgiving
the person that i was
i fall in love with hoping
i fall in love with love on purpose
i think that i am growing

i wanna grow older now
even if i'll never get sober
i wanna grow older now
i wanna grow older

• Alternative
• classical crossover
• indie pop
• queer
• singer-songwriter
• vocal
• New York