mind soup from esoterotica by jadeworm

antagonistic tendencies, expanding insecurities; despondency breaks out and takes the reigns. endless possibilities, but only one that's supposed to be. when it doesn't happen, who's to blame?
she takes me on a walk to the corner store, just opened up a pack but hey i'll buy some more. my stomach's twisting up, I've never felt this before.
I Thank You.
will you ever understand the feeling? will i ever focus on the healing? antagonistic tendencies–that's exactly how it's supposed to be! the fact alone will renovate the dwellings of my mental cave.
she takes me to the top of the elevator, i keep thinking to myself i'm going to do it later. but my time is running out, my presence quickly traded for an older, colder, darker man of action and my nerves are feeling blissed.
desire is a drug if you're complacent, just face it. sabotage yourself, you'll never make it, but fake it. desire is a drug for the complacent, don't waste it. drowning in your souped up brain you hate it
I Hate It.
i can hear the wind whipping through the trees. snow is coming down, crystals cover me. submit myself to pain again so willingly. building expectations never, ever leaves me free. i turn towards the cold, turn towards the cold. "if i keep up doing this, i never wanna grow old." deep in my chest the frost takes its hold. "warm hearts die in the winter, that's just how it goes." fly down the stairs, fly down the stairs, force myself to act like i don't really, really care. out on the lawn when i feel it's unfair: "if it wasn't for my stupid self, i wouldn't be there."

desire is a drug if you're complacent.

• Experimental
• acoustic
• bedroom pop
• connecticut
• electronic
• noise pop
• Easton