Fasted by DROP THERAPY

A couple days ago, I had a bit of a crisis: I realized how distorted my reasoning got surrounding my weight. Usually it isn't a problem until I weigh even remotely above the typical 155lbs for me, which because I am 6'1 is pretty slim/average. It's possible that I may have an eating disorder, but there's also a bit of imposter syndrome going on because I'm able to function with it and I have never had any huge weight fluctuations. However, I also have a tendency to eat impulsively and then shame myself for it and even witness an amount of body dysmorphia in the mirror afterwards. I've even felt the urge to restrict my eating, which at one point resulted in me fasting for 8 hours a day for at least a week. I realized that at one point I projected these insecurities onto my fiance, which is a thing we've resolved for the most part before it got super bad but I still massively regret acting like I did.

Tracklist

1.	Fasted	4:59

Lyrics

Look in the mirror
Abnormal presence
Even in dormancy
It's always been there, hasn't it?

You can't even stare for more than thirty seconds
Hope you don't eat too much
Because you will regret it

Look at a scale to ground yourself

I've tried so hard not to hate myself
Does it come back, does it come back does it come back to this in the end
I can't say that I can look at myself in the same way
After even a single bite
I don't know why
But I feel the urge to skip it all this time

Why did I have to push it all on you?
Why
Why
Why
Why

I can't deny
That I once fasted for seven days
But why does this feel fake
Just because I didn't suffer the right way

I can't deny
That I once fasted for seven days
What would they all think
if I shouted from the rooftops my problem today
Would that be okay?

I can't deny
That I once fasted for seven days
Once in a while I still feel shame
Please let me just look down today

I can't deny
That I once shifted all the blame
Why is it all okay
When I hurt someone all the same

Credits

released September 16, 2022
Madison Marquis - Everything

License

CC BY-SA 3.0. See the Creative Commons website for details.