conditioning from optimist by DOGSET

there will always be things i wanna ask you
like, did you think i desserved it?
some things left unspoken made me convinced that i did
i'll waste my life waiting for answers
i was never good at this

the shame i feel i can't unlearn
to wince when im being too much like myself
fighting against it, trying to be small
i feel happy to feel conditioned

one day when i feel i desserve to be happy
i'll soak it in, one, two, pulse
one day you wont get to me at all
one day all of this will be so distant

you're already there
you havent thought about me in months
still here aimless, wishing to not have bad intentions
i hope that i hope you're happy
deep down i know its not true
i wish you'd know something
im so indecent

i cause pain to everybody
yet this happens when it happens to me
so much to learn, so little energy

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