A Sunday by District Five

a sunday, a minute before half three, after buying tobacco and learning what a lighter is in italian. it’s a day or two after seeing the red flags, with the Xs and the white stars, stale gas, lots of green. but still, you can find hope in the most simple of human exchanges.

and i remember that just recently i fell in love
well not recently, but exactly a year ago
a year ago is recent, in 25 years of somehow being alive

i thought i had fallen in love before this recent event
i had felt it before- confusion, love, pain
but not like this

exactly a year ago i fell in love for the first time
carol bruce /cut out was singing to me when she said
you don’t know what love is
and i didn’t
and then i was in it
it felt like a lifetime
and then it died
and i died too
many times
and recently again

in all those deaths they’re worried that i’ll lose myself in the black pit parts of me forever gone
but they needn’t worry
i will die many more times
i will die and see u all again the next day with new thoughts and new feelings

i fell in love
for the first time
exactly a year ago

everything has a thousand meanings, ramifications, connections, memories, smells, images, sounds, all and all and all and- whispers moten from the back

i was in love
but i’m not anymore
this right here is death once again
but i will see you the next day, with new thoughts and new feelings

and now, while others make their sourdough yoga exercise gardening i am
here in my room
scraping together the fragments of myself
trying to stay balanced, trying to stay sane
not breaking apart, not losing myself in self-hatred and the hatred toward others

sometimes i succeed

• Alternative
• Rock
• Spoken Word
• grunge jazz
• indie
• jazz
• spoken word poetry
• Zürich