Split by Controlled/Primitive Blast
I thought long and hard (untrue) about what to say about this release.
It aint the heaviest thing to be released this year,
It aint the fastest thing to be released this year,
It aint the hardest thing to be released this year,
Or the loudest or the sludgiest or doomiest or any of that crap.
WHAT IT IS THOUGH, BY A COUNTRY MILE, IS THE HOTTEST RELEASE OF THIS YEAR.
For real dudes have a look at the homies in these bands, the dudes are straight up sexual white chocolate, you just wanna melt that down and have a sip on it.
Like for real consider these dus for a minute,
Bevan, likely insane but dudes tall, trim and tan. He got that surfer look about it and likely a dong like a babies arm. He got a horny AF tat on his back as well, ladies you gonna wanna ask to see that piece of skin you na what i mean?
Owen, no idea what makes this homie tick but when the bloke enters the room the air con in the room starts to struggle. Du is well dressed as hell. Straight sauve, wears those lil tiny beanies that i dunno how they stay on his head. Chicks dig that yeah?
Dean, bloke got that military steeze about him, mad regimented looking with some chiseled af jaw line and abs. Likely goes off like a frog in a sock in the bedroom but surely doesnt kiss and tell.
Brandon, got them big polynesian lips, a toned mid section and sculpted tree trunks for legs. Ladies i dont need to sell the bloke be he got all that and more, homies 80% through his engineering degree, this du gonna have the looks, the brains and the skrilllllll soon. For real put a deposit down on that dude because hes hot property and the market is only going up.
Then you got Controlled,
Josh. homie may have been fired from the movies for razzing customers and he may have pretended to keep going to work after he was fired but who honestly gives a damn about that when you have a proper suss of the dude. Man is a RIGASAURUS REX with muscles to flex. I once saw some female campers light a fire off his abdominal muscles, dude is that hot.
Peachy, man, even i got a crush on this dude. Most english people have boontzed teeth and talk kinda funny but this bloke is the exception to the rule to the point where i think he might even be lying bout bein english ya know. Du looks like hes the next James Bond, Daniel Craig used to go to bed fretting he was about to lose his job to this sauve english dude.
Ed, Man Ed, Ed is like dad hot. Chicks be feelin me on this. Like the dude wears dickstickers at the beach which is some bold statement I aint down with but HELL if i had a big old dad dick and a solid physique Id probably be flaunting my it for the honeys to ya know?
Hamish, hell I dont have to say nuffin about this guy really. Most of the ladies reading this (and probably some of you dudes) have probably got your rocks off over this tall, taught and terrific homies instagram and honestly I cant blame you, ya know?
Coyle, yeah look, Coyle might be the exception to the rest ya know? He's old, hes got red hair, he aint that funny. I dunno maybe people are into that? some people get off to homies rubbing themselves in human excrement so when you look at it that way surely someone out there wanna get a piece of this fiery red head?
anyways for real though this record is a pressing of 150 on black and will be sent out as soon as it arrives which should be early June.
YERRR
