Lotus-Eater from Ulyssa by Cynthia Goosby

I've been here before,
and one taste meant to dull a disrespect
blinked into seven years,
in the arms of others,
enveloped by interlopers,
not entirely unpleasant.

And now I have to watch
as you choose to swallow down the same.
Blissful oblivion
pulls my binding chords,
but one of us must stay aboard,
lest we both be lost.

Winter pursues me everywhere,
but I must be prepared to sail forever.
In the end, how I will fare,
only one of me will ever know.

Lips say, "I understand."
But heart screams, "I was here first."
My soul, it bears the curse:
"dum spiro spero"
and your not-quite-fatal arrow.
Sometimes strength is its own punishment.

Winter pursues me everywhere,
but I must be prepared to sail forever.
In the end, how I will fare,
only one of me will ever know.

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