compare & contrast by Cleo Handler

This is an album about dating — and about being on your own.

When someone I was seeing told me (in what obviously became a breakup conversation) that they liked me, but their “therapist thought it was important they keep dating other people, in order to compare and contrast,” the sentiment hit me like a gut punch of insensitivity, objectification, and self-involvement. (Which I stand by). But… over time, as I kept forging ahead and feeling my way, that phrase, which had first struck me as wildly rude, began to take on new meaning.

When you’ve become accustomed to muffling and questioning your intuition, it can take a while to tune into it again. And, the more I tried to hone my instincts and listen to that little voice that had been so quiet for so long, the more I found that I was in fact comparing and contrasting — not so much in others, but in myself. I started checking in, weighing, asking: how do you learn to trust your gut, and how do you differentiate the moments that make you feel aligned, secure, and happy (from those that really don’t)? When should you sit with your discomfort, and when should you run for the hills? As I tried to locate the answers, I wrote this album. And as it came together, the main thing I found was that the louder and clearer that little voice got, the more I enjoyed its company — and the more I believed it.

songwriter / filmmaker based in Los Angeles / Brooklyn

professional make-believe

cleohandler.com