Chem-Pop by Captain Chemical

CHEM POP (F#, ♪=118)

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Captain Chemical just sold out

It’s not K-pop, no it’s Chem-Pop
And our new single’s about to drop
Song’s so dumb it ought to flop
But watch it climb straight to the top
Mouth diarrhea nothing to say
But you’ll still love it anyway
Just old dudes with ugly pants
But damn, those geezers really dance

Some foreign language that we’re playing
You just have to guess at what we’re saying
Inka dinga wombee floose
Our rhythms come from Doctor Seuss
So let confusion now commence
Because our lyrics make no sense
Jokes so lame, humor ribald
Pathetic way to grab some eyeballs

Hey-- hot sexy momma
Daddy’s here in his pajama
I’m not some Bolivian llama
Punctuating with a comma

Our miracles will never cease
Save mankind, and bring world peace?
Or see things with lucidity?
No, all we’ve got’s stupidity
But sexy sells and you are buying
And we’re so hot we got you crying
Our rapping sucks, our words don’t rhyme
Don’t blame us, we’re past our prime

Hey—I am your daddy
Not some horror movie baddie
Not some peasant in a rice paddy
Sexy golfer, can I be your caddie?

We’re so hot you’ll need some ice
But you keep buying, ‘cause we’re half price
Looky, girls – how you like that?
It’s not our bass, it’s us who’s phat
We’re so dumb and yet we’re proud
So turn that volume up to loud
No drink or drugs no sex or cars
We’re overdosing on guitars

[guitar lead]

When it comes to lovely harmonies those old guys really bring it
But the problem is the notes are high so now they can’t really sing it

Fans said, “they’re edgy, their lyrics precocious
but now they just suck and their music’s atrocious
They used to have talent, they used to be funny
but they sold out ‘cause they wanted money”
When we were good we had no fans
‘Cause no one ever saw us dance
But we miss everything we shoot
Don’t even have a Godzilla suit

We’re forty years beyond our prime
And that is why it’s sell-out time
We’ll weasel our way straight to the top
And we’re gonna make that weasel pop
Now everybody comes to cheer us
‘Cause Chem Pop’s how they hear us
Soon we’ll hear their claps and hollers
And stuff our pockets with their dollars

Oh no- it isn’t K-Pop
Oh no- oh god, it’s Chem Pop
Oh no- not C- or J-Pop
Oh no- oh god, it’s Chem Pop
Chem Pop!

• Comedy
• Pop
• Rock
• comedy
• country
• indie
• indie rock
• k-pop
• novelty song
• punk
• rock
• techno
• Tucson