Insomnolence from Etterath by Beguiler

I am in an uncomfortable place
With the silence in the air
Nothing leaves my mouth
Except for the lies that I tell myself
The truth is I am struggling
Sleep-deprived all of the time
I feel like I’m half of my former self
Though I’m used to this feeling I died
I continue these motions of my life
I haven’t felt like myself inside
For the longest fucking time
To be honest
I forget what that even felt like
Though I am used
To feeling like a corpse
But a part of me knows
It’s not real
Buried beneath
I have lost everything
No one will ever truly know me
My departed self
Broke every surface
The pitiless pessimist
Always afraid of the truth
Because of things I will
Never let go
I am lacking control
I am now conditioned
To suffer
But I will
Continue to bury
I will continue to numb
No one feels my presence
I am a walking corpse syndrome
I cannot exist as this shell
In my reflection
All that’s familiar
Is I’m
Sleep-deprived all of the time
I feel like I’m half of my former self
Though I’m used to this feeling I died
I continue these motions of my life
I haven’t felt like myself inside
For the longest fucking time
To be honest
I forget what that even felt like
I can’t let go
I am lacking control the only terms
I’ve come to accept
Is my learned helplessness
If I sleep I
Won’t wake up
I won’t remember
If I pass I will remain
As I am
If I sleep I
Won’t wake up
Knowing who I am
If I pass I will remain
In bitterness
Wanting this to fucking end
It’s like the longest winter
Killing my will to live
You associate with me
To save face
I’ve got my own back
It’s okay
Oh, old soul
You must rest
Your inner being
Will soon be
Dead

• Death Metal
• Deathcore
• Metal
• Metalcore
• Symphonic Metal
• deathgrind
• deathmetal
• Oshawa