Pickleball Champion from Goin' Postal by Beefcakes

I wanna go outside, get my legs real nice
Short shorts riding up my ass, I like them bitches tight
I wanna go outside to the tennis court
Slamming balls and kicking sack, these games always end short
I wanna get plastered, playing pickleball
Big beer, wet shirt, I like them boys real tall
I wanna get plastered, pass out on the ground
Wake up in a day or two and play another round

Ooh wah ah
Pickleball
I wanna get plastered, playing pickleball
Big beer, wet shirt, I like them boys real tall
I wanna get plastered, pass out on the ground
Wake up in a day or two and play another round
Of pickleball
Pickleball
Pickleball

(Hello viewers! The day is finally here
Our last two teams are facing off in what very well may be one of the sport's defining games
Anna Leigh Waters is starting us off with the first serve
Oh wait, wait, hold on, are you seeing this
That man is drunk
Somebody get him off the court)

Serve, return, volley, dink, dink, dink, score
Serve, return, volley, score, serve, return, score
Serve, return, volley, dink, dink, dink, score
Serve, return, volley, serve, serve, return, score
Serve, return, volley, dink, dink, dink, score
(Oh my god, he just uppercutted Ben Johns)

Playing pickleball while black out ass up drunk
(Playing pickleball and I'm twenty drinks deep)
Swaying side to side and throwing up half court
(The game is being televised for all the world to see
Playing pickleball while black out ass up drunk
(Everyone is horrified by the footwork of my feet)
Wake up with some heatstroke and a trophy in my mouth
(As I roundhouse kick the ref before security tackles me)

Wah
Champion
We win
Where the fuck are my shoes
Where the fuck are my shoelaces
Oh no, oh my mom's gonna fucking kill me
I'm the winner, I'm the winner, I'm the winner, I'm the winner

• Punk
• Rock
• alternative rock
• post-punk
• Thunder Bay