Kristian's Intro from TELEVISION [REBOOTED] by K.Oh!

Kristian’s Intro

(SKIT)
Auhdrina:
Mommy! Mommy! Look what I found! It’s a book!

April:
Where’d you get this from?

Auhdrina:
I found it under my bed.
It has really cool pictures in it!
Can you read it to me, pleeeeeease?

April:
Have you brushed your teeth yet?
I need you to get ready for bed, you have school tomorrow.

Auhdrina:
I already did that, bitch!
Read me the book!

(SLAP!)

April:
What have I told you about talking to me like that?

Auhdrina:
… sorry mommy.

April:
Gimme that!
Kristian’s Intro, huh?
Okay, sit down…

I wear my hat low, 501’s, and I like Chuck Tays,
Clean shirts, who knows, you might catch me with a fresh shave
Looking spiffy… not that I’m looking scruffy
But either way I bet yo’ girl still wants to feel my stiffy!
That’s a no, no, bitch! Keep them hands to yourself ho!
I’s a married man and you not worth me payin’ hell fo’.
Plus I’m kind of scared of April, keeping it 100.
She’d probably run me over more than once and leave me under it
If she caught me creeping… doing things I’m not supposed ta’.
So next to her in bed’s the only place you’ll find me sleeping.
But all jokes aside. That’s my lady and I love her.
That’s why when we do the nasties I don’t grab my rubbers.
Magnums? Who needs those? I’m the golden wrapper (rapper)
She tries to make me wear one I say, “huh?”, the probably slap her.
“What you talking ‘bout girl? Better spread that ass for daddy.
Gotta put my super secret sauce all in your crabby patty.”
… sorry Mrs. Mathis, too much info.
And if you’re just tuning in, I’ll tell you what you in fo’.
Bunch of cold beats, filled up with dope lyrics
Sounding so sick, get the flu soon as you hear itsss…

(SKIT)
Auhdrina:
Mommy, I don’t feel good…

April:
What’s wrong?

Auhdrina:
I feel hot, but I’m cold too…

April:
Oh, no. You have a fever, baby!
I have to call the school and let them know.
I’mma go get you some medicine, too, okay?
You wanna watch TV until I get back?

Auhdrina:
Uh-huh…

April:
Aww, my tweety baby.
I won’t take long, I promise.
I’ll be right back, okay?

Auhdrina:
Okay mommy…

April:
*kiss*… I love you.

Auhdrina:
I love you, too.

April:
I know sweetie.
Stay there, okay?
I’ll go turn the TV on for you…

[END]

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