shame from solipsism by alec critten

shame, it is the force of gravity within my life
it is the wound tumescing in me with a knife
it is the way i feel about my stomach
or the dreary hum of guilt making me tick

i want to rise far above its atmosphere
if i linger in its orbit i feel like i could disappear
if i could comb through what's built up over years
then every conflicting desire could finally come clear

i don't want to keep beating myself up over this

i hear every stupid thing i've ever said to anyone
the ruins left in the wake of good intention
it's torture knowing what my past has wrought
the embarrassment my presence begot

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