1.02 by Danny Valhalla
"All my friends are cornballs.
I go to these backward-headed fuckers to try and feel something. Anything. I just want to be wanted, and I get that little heroin shot of dopamine for the countless hours of dumping my feelings while they listen. But it's never like this all the time, and them treating me like shit outweighs them treating me fairly.
Whenever they need someone to kick down, it's always me. I'm always the one that they go to to be a dick to. They act as if I don't care for them. They act as if I'm not one of them. It goes on for weeks and weeks and weeks. I tried to bring it up at first; they apologized, but the next day they do the same shit. Now they laugh at me whenever I try to fight back. I fucking hate it.
I want to get away but at this point they're all I have. They're all I ever talk to. I don't know who else there is to rebuild the relationships I've had with the others. It just eats at me and I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it. It's either 'I want to be free' or 'I want to be me', and I don't think I can do both at this point.
I'm tired of these power-tripping assholes. They think they're in a position where they can kick down people who they deem lower, but deep down inside they know they're the same level as I am. None of us are any better. They're so hypocritical too; I'll act out of line once and I get treated like a bitch, but once someone else does the same, it's celebrated. I can't do anything about it, because they'll just berate me over and over again and treat me like shit once more.
I want to do something so fucking bad, but I know they won't listen. I've tried to speak up numerous times; they apologize, but forget they did the next day. It's so fucking infuriating, but I can't stop it. At this point I know there's barely any solution that yield positive results, but I'm done.
I'm tired of being your fucking scapegoat."
AMFAC
...from the upcoming album EVERYTHING I ONCE KNEW LEFT ME
IER-SNGL005
